As I embark upon this push for notoriety, fame, fortune and worldwide adulation I have an announcement to make. Sadly I don't have a publicist or an agent yet, I'm sure they will come along in due course. My public profile is a bit lower than I would like so I feel the need to let you all know that I have <insert attention grabbing disorder here>
I don't know about anyone else but were I to have <attention grabbing disorder> I would wonder why on earth it would be of interest to anyone else outside of the immediate circle of my family and friends. Then again I don't work in such rarefied areas where one week I will be posing for photos, attending the "must be seen at" party and then the following week be taking people to court for a gross invasion of privacy when I left a party a bit worse for wear.
I really cannot see any good reason for it. <Attention grabbing disorder> seems to be one of the most virulent and widespread diseases in showbiz today. Perhaps we had better consider inoculation of the wider public to stop it spreading amongst the rest of population. What could be worse than talentless nobodies screeching on TV, making fools of themselves for the amusement of oth.....
I'll stop there. That was like a televisual dead end!